WAIT FOR IT
by XxClairdelunexX
Summary: due to a sudden influx of people asking for it, I am writing new material for this, but it could take a bit, so be patient!
1. Chapter 1

**Me: Hi everyone, this is my first fanfiction! One moment, I'll get someone to do the disclaimer! (Whips out cell phone and shock collar with an evil/twisted grin)**

**Peter: (barges through the door like, 5 sec. later) Alice, I would have been here sooner but I had to run here from the other side of Clover! My love! Light of my life! Song of my heart, err, clock! I knew you loved me! **

**Me: (snaps shock collar on him while he looks around wildly) Sorry Peter, Alice left, she said you took to long, that you normally take only 3 seconds, so that you must not love her as much as she thought, so she left with the 5 of hearts ^.^! But don't worry, I still like you! Now can you read this sign please? (Hands flutter through the air and a sign appears, startling Peter and the raccoon I brought from my garage, her name is George)**

**Peter: O.o oookaaay? **

'**XxClairdelunexX does not own Joker, Clover, or Heart no Kuni no Alice, if she did, there would be more than just Alice, Blood wouldn't strangle people before getting his facts straight, peter would have a girl who doesn't hit him and loves him dearly, and the powerful authoress would have both Jokers, nightmare, Julius, and Gray (She has a fetish for guys with dark hair, insane guys, obsessive guys, and bad guys, when she was five she had a crush on Hitler!) trapped in her closet, because No-one else can have them! She does, however, own a raccoon, a juice box, an industrial-sized bottle of germ-x and peanut butter, 8 dogs, 8 cats and 4 horses because her father is a vet!' **

**O.O (stunned by either my complete awsomenessness, insanity, or a little of both)**

**ME: ON TO THE STORY! George, grab me a juice box!**

_**Class of Clover**_

_**Chapter one:**_

_**New job **_

"_God I hate wearing this stupid blue suit, I swear its sole purpose is to attract attention to my butt and cleavage areas, let's just get this over with, it's not like you will actually get the job," _Alice Liddell thought to herself, as she walked to the intimidating wrought iron gates of the Academy of Queen's and King's Wonder. She had been looking for a teaching job for ages, and her journey took her here.

As the gates loomed closer she could see the boy's PE classes out running the track, though the teachers were nowhere to be seen. As she stared at them the gates creaked ominously to a close.

"_Isn't this what they call foreshadowing?"_ she wondered as she glanced over her shoulder. To see that they were shut tight, "_well, no turning back now! Smile and at least pretend like you want to be here!"_

She quickly arranged her windblown hair to look somewhat decent when she saw the full building for the first time. It may have been of average size, but what it didn't have in size it had in expensive taste. The outside was elaborately decorated with silver vines, which crept up the walls to lead to a dazzling array of red, black, white, and gold roses. The vine then weaved in and out of the small marble pillars that aligned the long, gothic windows. The vines shimmered like water in the sunlight. The scene was breathtaking.

Alice shook her head to clear her thoughts, strolled up to the huge double doors and raised her hand to knock when she was suddenly knocked to the ground by a furry animal. _"Shit," _she thought. " _This is the only suit I have! Stupid little…" _Alice looked up to see a little white rabbit in a fancy waistcoat sitting on her umm, chest area.

She stared at it, dumbstruck. "_I could have sworn the thing that hit me was bigger"_ she thought. Suddenly it stood up, rocking back and forth on its heels like a five year old, and said in a cutesy little voice "Hi there, Alice! I'm Peter White! This school has two principals, Black and White, who want to see you immediately! Oh, and that I have to give you this!" the little rabbit held out a delicate crystal vial to her, she took it in her hand and suddenly picked up the bunny in her arms and just held him for a while.

**Peter's POV**

I was shocked, nobody had ever been _this_ nice before, and as soon as her arms wrapped around me I felt an electric pulse go through me. I blushed and hugged her back. "_What is this feeling?"_

**Normal POV**

Peter led Alice through the corridors and to the Jokers' office, where Alice felt 15 pairs of eyes on her. "Welcome Alice, I knew you'd come! Well let's get right to the point" said the one with the whip. Who was starting to get awfully close "Do you want this job?" He said, surprising everyone, including himself, as her stood in front of her, lowering his face so that it was an inch from hers. "Because as soon as I saw you I knew you were right for the job, so do you want it?" She nodded her head up and down as much as she could, because being in such close proximity with this man made it difficult, and uncomfortable, so she did the only thing she knew how to do in a situation like this.

She took out a can of pepper spray and hit him dead on in the face, she took out the pistol from her purse and pointed it at him, "I was raised in the slums, _sir" _she sneered "I do want this job sir, but kindly refrain from doing things like that, I hate killing people you see, and I would probably also get my pay docked for killing my boss, which would suck, so if you stay out of my way, I'm happy, and you're alive, it's a win-win!" she said, while smiling the whole time.

"So what do I do?" she asked the man's look-alike, who was looking at her with shock, amusement, and something else that seemed to be in everyone else's eyes as well, adoration. "_Well?"_ she asked, snapping her fingers in his face. "DAMN! That was one of the sexiest things I've seen yet!" the man said. Alice turned to Peter, only to find a man standing in his place, with the same outfit on, and white bunny ears.

Most women would freak out, but not Alice, she was from the bad side of downtown, it would take more then that to phase her. She remembered the vial that she had been given, and being from where she is she just opened it and drank it in one gulp. Feeling a little light-headed she told Peter to show her to where she would sleep as a teacher here and locked her door, not even bothering to change she just passed out on the bed.

Me: So what did you think? Love it? Hate it? Needs work?

**Peter: Alice held me! I'm so happy! I Love it! But White needs to back off, Alice is MINE!**

**George: (makes chattering noises to Clair)**

**Me: I so agree George, HE should be our next guest. And yes, you can eat the rest of the peanut butter, or feed it to your kids, whatever!**

**(George then leaves carrying an industrial sized peanut butter in her mouth)**

**Me: O.o o.O O.O ACK GERMS! Pulls out industrial sized germ-x and lathers her arms in it.(I actually do that all the time**

**Peter: Whoa, she's better than Alice!**

**Me: *huff huff* ok, PLEASE R&R AND TELL ME WHICH CHARACTERSHOULD BE WHICH TYPE OF TEACHER CUZ I HAVE HIT A BRICK WALL!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: (in a really creepy voice, think of a racist-pedophile-on-crack-who-lives-with-a-hermit-creepy) HEEEEEELLLLLOOOOOO everyone… (twisted grin) I have a helper now, who is also my best friend, Meredith!**

**(A figure emerges from the shadows wearing a long black overcoat with dark red designs, she took, it off to reveal an assassin suit and a jet-black bullwhip which whistled through the air to capture a very sneaky peter she then promptly stabbed the back of his coat into the wall and pi the rest of it with seven tiny daggers, she pulled a gun out of her belt and shot a hole in the wall next to his head, she pulled out a tiny silver remote control for shock collar #1 an watched with humor as peter spazzed, she pulled her(knives/bullwhip?) out and watched him twitch on the floor. )**

**Meredith: Nice Try!^.^**

**Me: Meredith! You didn't have to do all that!(Trying to wake up peter)He's out cold now! Meredith! Go get HIM!(pulls out pistol and shoots it in the air in an attempt to wake him up) hmmmm, I remember them saying that in situations like these, you are supposed to give them mouth to mouth, or was that drowning? Oh well!(pulls out her germ-X and sits it beside her) Come on Peter Wake up!(Starts trying to do mouth to mouth)**

**Peter: (Starts trying to make out with her)**

**Me: EEEEWWWWWW! GERMS! (Takes Germ-X bottle and dumps it over hers and his head) WHERE THE HELL IS MEREDITH? Oh well, (takes out tazer) I'll do it myself! ^.^ (tazes Peter till yelling is heard in the shadows to her right, and till peter passes out again) **

**Meredith: (Dragging someone in while shocking them with shock collar #2 ):-O ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS READ THE DAMN SIGN YOU IDIOT!*giggle* ^.^ Blood: (twitching) NO VIVALDI! NO MORE DRESSUP! **

**Me: (walks over and slaps him) GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN! YOU'RE THE MAFIA! ACT LIKE IT BEFORE I GET MY PUNJAB LASSO! READ THE DAMN SIGN!**

**Blood: o.o O.O Ok… **

'**XxClairdelunexX does not own Joker/Clover/Heart no kuni no Alice, but she does own everything stated in the last chapter, a Punjab lasso, a leatherman pocket knife, a gun, and a tazer, she also owns a bipolar attitude!'**

**Me&Meredith: ^.^ True (Strapping Blood to a chair next to peter on a *temporary* stretcher)**

**Meredith: Who wants a juice box? ^.^**

**George, Me, and Blood: I DO**

**Meredith: o.o well to bad it's mine!**

**Me: On to the story! (runs of with tazer) GIMME MAH JUICEBOX WOMAN!(Knives and bullets fly)**

_**Ch.2:**_

_**Kids these days**_

Alice woke up at 6 am to see it still dark outside, but she dismissed it as global warming and dressed in a dark red sundress and long black stockings. She started down the hall to the principal's office and tried to ignore the kids around her whispering rumors about her till one got her attention;

"I hear she grew up in the slums, and by the way she 'formally' dressed yesterday, I don't doubt that she also used to be a hooker" said the boy, to another boy who looked exactly like him except one had blue eyes and the other red.

Well that pissed her off to say the least. She took out her pepper spray and sprayed his eyes. "BITCH!" He screeched. "Bastard," she addressed him, with a curt nod of her head before grabbing his black hair and dragging him down the hallway.

**Black's POV**

**I **was having fun playing darts with pictures of the teachershere, except Alice of course, because one, I don't have one, because when I went through her things while she slept last night there was no picture of her, and two, I find her interesting, so I don't want to scare her away by letting her think I want to murder her… _yet._ When suddenly I heard girlish screeching coming my way, I thought Alice had fallen into my trap I had set up until I heard what it said, "MS. ALICE! I NEARLY DIED BACK THERE! AND ALL YOU DO WAS NEARLY SHOOT ME AND TELL ME TO SHUT UP? MY BROTHER WILL HEAR OF THIS!" said a whiny voice I recognized, but then I heard _her,_ and she did the sexiest thing ever,

"Who the hell cares? I don't. Tell your brother to meet me in person, then I won't have to see him ever again, and neither will you, so I suggest you follow the instructions I gave you prior to this little…_chat_," a clicking sound was heard, "STOP PISSING ME OFF AND SHUT. THE. HELL. UP." BANG! BANG!

I looked out my door to see that she had put a bullet in the wall so close to his head that it had grazed his cheek and nicked his ear, there was also a hole so close to his ribcage that It had torn his shirt and grazed his side, which was now bleeding. Alice stood about 6 feet away from the boy, bathed in fiery anger '_Damn, that is hot!'_

**Normal POV**

Alice was quaking with anger when a hand settled on her shoulder she turned around to see the man who had nearly died by her hand yesterday! '_No, wait, his hat is different, and he doesn't have a whip, plus he seems a little hotter'_ Alice thought. '_why is the bitch studying me so closely?' _thought Black. '_why are they studying each other so closely?' _thought Dee as he watched with jealousy. That had been the first person ever to insult both Jokers and a bloody twin, she was Dee's type. He aged about six years on the spot and walked over to her and joker, " Joker, what class does she teach? I'll take her there." He asked. " She teaches health class along with nurse Vivaldi." Stated Joker, never once taking his eyes off her '_there is such angry passion in those eyes!' _he thought. Alice, however, tore her gaze away from him, much to his dismay, and stared at Dee, much to _Dee's_ liking. "Who the _HELL_ are you?" she said to him "and where did that little bastard go?" She kept staring at him intensely, '_why does this school have so many hot guys?' _she thought. "_DAMN THAT'S HOT!' _Joker thought to himself before covering his gushing nose and quickly walking to his office. Dee held out a hand "I don't know where that kid went, but you have a class to teach, and nurse Vivaldi is exactly the opposite of a nurse when she's impatient" he said, leading her through the corridors to health class. "I'm Dee, by the way, me and my brother teach the art class here, and sometimes have to sub for Mr. Boris Airay , who teaches self-defense class. He's always getting hurt by the kids when they decide to gang up on him, but it only takes him a day to heal so he's back before you know it!^.^ Oh, here we are, have a good day, Alice!"

**Meredith: (sitting on top of Clair drinking a juice box) Interesting, so Dee won't tell her… O.o OWW!**

**Me: (tazing her ass off) GET. OFF. ME! **

**Peter: Yeah! Get off her!**

**Meredith: (Shocking the socks off him)**

**Blood: I thought that was kind of hot how you took her down.**

**Meredith: (blushing) Th-thank you?**

**Me: (Whispering) someone likes a certain Mafioso~!**

**George: (unintelligible chattering noises)**

**Meredith: HAHA!**

**Me: I AM NOT WEAK (tazes traitor raccoon)**

**Anna (my little sis): (Appears out of nowhere) DON'T TAZE GEORGE! *SLAP!* (Grabs the twitchy George and disappears)**

**Me: O.o ANNA!*twitch, twitch* GERMS! (Grabs bucket of germ-x and dumps half on her and the other half on Peter who was also ranting about germs and twitching)**

**Peter: *twitch* thanks…**

**Me: No problem**

**Meredith: someone likes a certain white rabbit~!**

**Me: DO NOT! *ahem* we are just friends!**

**Blood: *shuckles***

**Me: SHUT UP YOU BIPOLAR FOP!(kicks bucket at him)**

**Meredith: PLEASE R&R!**

**Me: (shackling Blood to a wall in a cocktail dress that just appeared there) And check out my poll!**

**Meredith: Mary Claire _ (removed last name for safety) Put the man down! (takes out whip and cracks it)**

**Me: O.O … k**

**Peter: (hugglez claire) BYEEEEEZ~~!**

**Me: o.o *mumbles* get off me (tazes him)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Me: HI EVERYONE! **

**Meredith: (entering mysteriously from the shadows… **_**again! **_**Also trailing body bags behind her) I found them!**

**Peter & Blood: O.O Dear god she killed him!**

**Me: YOU KILLED MY FUTURE HUSBAND AND BROTHER IN LAW? MEREDITH I WILL MURDER YOU!**

**Blood & Meredith: O.O HUH?**

**Peter: WHAT? NOOOOO~! YOU CAN'T MARRY SOMEONE ELSE!**

**Me, Meredith, and Blood: O.o HUH?**

**Peter: (blushing~) Err, GERMS ACK!**

**Me: (suddenly serious) right! On it!(Shoots hole in wall above him as he sits there, unphased) ANNA!(I hate my little sister, she's ADHD*Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder* while I'm ADD*Attention Deficit disorder*) YOU AND GEORGE GET THE GERM-X!**

**Anna: YOU GET IT I'M TIRED OF SPENDING HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS ON YOU! PLUS, GEORGE NEEDS A BATH!**

**Me: Sorry Peter, one moment! ^.^ (exits to the other room) WHAT DID YOU SAY TO MOI?**

**Anna: I SAID GET IT YOURSELF!**

**Me: (takes out tazer) Do you want to be deleted from this story?**

**Anna: o.o no… OK FINE! BUT I'M GETTING MY OWN WEAPON WHILE I'M OUT!**

**Me: FINE just don't get a whip, that's reserved for me and Meredith! (Walks back out and pulls out whip) Which one is White in? (All point to the slightly squirming body bag)**

**Meredith: I didn't kill them, just knocked them out! **

**Other Joker: Who was that sexy biscuit that whipped my face? (Still loopy from being knocked out and dragged here)**

**Me: (wrapping the whip around White's body bag and pulling him closer as she unzips it)*evilly* Good morning starshine, the Earth says hello!**

**White: umm…Hello?**

**Me: Say what's on this sign!**

**White: O.o Ok?**

**Me: stop speaking in questions or I'll scar your face, honey^.^!**

**White: (kind of turned on) Ok. **

'**XxClairdelunexX sadly does not own Joker/Clover/Heart no Kuni no Alice, if she did she would have me all to herself, trapped in a secret prison cell in her room!'**

**^.^ … WAIT, WHAT? **

**Me: NOTHING NOTHING!**

**Peter: NO~! Claire~!**

**White: (Chuckles evilly) we have a lot in common, you and me!**

**Black: Sherry's in the cupboard with the red doorknob!**

**Me: O.o Indeed… she is. MEREDITH HOW HARD DID YOU HIT HIM?**

**Meredith: Can we get on to the story?**

**Black: (looking around wildly) I HEARD THE SEXY BISCUIT! I DID!**

**Me, Peter, Blood, and White: (facepalm)**

**Meredith: (Blushes)**

**Me: (muttering) my best friend is weird and my sister is insane**

**White: I know how you feel. (Puts hand on shoulder and leans in)**

**Me: (pulls out whip and whips his ankle) O.O DON'T KISS ME! I like you, but that's a little to fast!**

**Peter: YOU GO ALICE!**

**White & Me: (glare) Shut up!**

_**Ch.3**_

_**Staff Meeting**_

"_These kids know nothing!" _Alice thought to herself as she circled the room for the fifteenth time in as many minutes. "No Tommy, your nose is not on your forehead" she told the kid for the ninth time, Nurse Vivaldi gave her a knowing look and continued to help one of the students.

***BEEEEEEEEEEEP***

Alice and Vivaldi looked up as White Joker's voice came over the intercom, making Alice shiver,

"**Would all teachers report to the staff room, please and thank you!" *click***

Alice looked at Vivaldi who shrugged and started to exit the classroom, Alice was quick to follow. And as they stepped into the office they both promptly fell down a deep dark hole Alice screaming her cheeks off and Vivaldi with her usual bland expression.

When they got to the bottom everyone had already arrived, and were staring at her as she entered, because unbeknown to her, they had seen what she did to both Principal White and Mr. Dee. And they were all thinking their own forms of "_She's hot and dangerous, just my type_" except for Professor Monrey, the science teacher (Who ever knows what he's thinking?), and Coach Ace.

**Coach** **Ace's POV**

'_How does a fruit salad feel when you eat it? Can it smell you? How is yogurt alive?' _I thought as some hot girl walked up to me.

**Normal POV**

Alice decided to sit next to the only teachers who weren't giving her 'that weird look.' Big mistake, right as she sat down one gave her the cold shoulder and the other kept trying, and failing, to hit on her. That's when she noticed something, the room was full of men, hot men, and they were all giving her a look that made her uncomfortable.

Then she noticed something else, some had animal ears and tails, there was a patched up cat-man with purple-pink hair, ears, and tail who she assumed was Mr. Boris Airay (self defense), Peter(Vice-principal), a tall man with strawberry-blonde hair and brown ears (Elliot, the history teacher), and small man with brown mouse ears who kept giving Boris a look like any moment Boris would lunge at him (Pierce, the Home economics teacher), that made her want to laugh.

Alice then broke the silence and said "If you don't quit staring at me bad things will happen." And when she said that near visible violent vibes surrounded her making everyone flinch and Black and Peter leave the room cupping there bleeding noses.

White was trembling with restrained laughter at his brother's actions, he never knew any girl to have this much power over so many men, especially Peter and Black, and they just left with nosebleeds! "Ahem" he started, but only Alice looked at him, everyone else was still looking at Alice despite her threats. He cocked his eyebrow at her, and she looked around at everyone. She sighed and cocked her gun. "How troublesome," she said as they didn't even flinch. She put it back in her purse and stole the whip from White, and before he could react, there was an earth-shattering 'CRACK!' that left the air seemingly charged with electricity.

Peter and Black rushed back to the room as quick as they could, thinking that White had done something to Alice, only to see White and the others with shocked looks on their faces, some even had nosebleeds! Except for Mr. Nightmare Gottschalk (the school's psychiatrist), who was throwing up blood in a bucket, but that's not what caught their attention, no, it was Alice standing in the middle of the room like a war goddess wielding a whip like a pro. She then threw it to the side and said, "I will have to skip this meeting, on the account of my students needing supervising and me being worn out" She then gave a smile that took their breath away, "but if you will introduce yourselves formally to me at lunch tomorrow, then I could spend a day with each one of you individually, since I am new here and may need help," she said, putting on her most helpless smile, which suddenly turned wicked "And remember, first come first serve," she said and flounced out of the room.

**Me: (To White) Well we got to see her other side more in this one, but she is starting to remind me of someone (glances at Meredith who is trying to calm black down)**

**Meredith: SSSHHHHHH! Black! It's OK! We aren't going to hurt you, sssshhhhhhhh!**

**Black: alright (calming down and suddenly clutching her to him) but YOU will be my bodyguard then, 'cause if you aren't then I will kill you!**

**Blood: Back off loser! I called dibs!**

**Meredith: (takes out silver remote, Blood pales as she hits #2 and #4, both Black and Blood go twitchy on the floor) losers.**

**Black: HEY YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T HURT ME YOU LIER! **

**Meredith: That was only so I could get close enough to you to get your shock collar on you, to get you back for calling me a 'sexy biscuit'**

**Black: (Turns red) oh…**

**Me: (Cracks whip in the air and entangles him with it as Meredith throws her knives to hold him in place)**

**Both Jokers: (Blushing our utter awesomenessness) O.O O.O WOW.**

**Me: White, can you hand me the Germ-X? Thanks!**

**White: (mumbles) you're welcome.**

**Me: Here Peter! (Hands him Germ-X)**

**Peter: ^.^ THANK YOU CLAIRE~! (hugs Claire till she passes out)**

**Meredith & White: **_**WHAT. HAVE. YOU. DONE?**_

**Peter: o.o Whoops.**

_**2 minutes later,**_

**(Peter is in a big bloody mess in the corner and Meredith is unpinning Black from the wall as White tries to wake Claire up)**

**White: (shaking her) WAKE UP! **

**Anna: I'M BACK YOU IDIOTS! AND I GOT A SWORD!**

**Me: (Pops up) SWEET JESUS! (runs)**

**White: (Chuckles and waves to Claire, then to viewers) Bye now!**


End file.
